Metanoia means…

To change one’s mind.  To change your mind is to change the way you view life, the way you engage with life, the way you experience life and how life is experienced through you.

I recounted to a friend the other day how I began the slow and imperceptible decline that lead me to gain the weight I had to lose.  In my early 20s, I worked in retail for a number of years, not behind a desk.  I was always on my feet and kept generally healthy.  When I started back to school, I was sitting most of the time, and due to work schedules and school schedules, I had bad eating habits.  I was eating cafeteria food for one (gross) and high fat content food.

When I started working in IT Security, I was sitting at a desk.  There is a common understanding that when most women start working for the government, they gain 50 lbs.  I remember a friend who was already in the government telling me this and me saying that I wasn’t going to let that happen.  Well, I did.  It happened slowly, like getting grey hair.  I didn’t even notice.  To be honest, I didn’t notice much for a long time.  A few years after I began to work in my field, I broke up with a long time boyfriend too.  That didn’t help matters in the least.

I remember going to buy clothes and every time I would have to go one size up.  I pretended it didn’t bother me, but it did.  I didn’t pay attention and became more and more numb to anything going on around me.

Flash forward a few years – I sat up and payed attention when I had my car accident.  Something had to make me realize what was happening.  For some it’s an illness.  I made a decision in short order to change my mind too when I wasn’t getting where I wanted to in my personal life.  I was hiding and I didn’t like it any longer.  When you are awake, other things that are limiting your growth are suddenly revealed and sometimes, they just have to go.

If you have the courage to change your mind, you can change your life.  Step off the train.  Shit, or get off the pot.  It’s scary sometimes to reveal yourself, your true self, but it is necessary in order to grow.  Who knows?  Your courage may inspire someone else to do the same.  You never really know all the effects of your actions.

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About mizmulligan


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