Class was good tonight. Working my way up again for deadlifts – did 3 sets of 5 at 75lbs tonight. My plan for the next few times is to keep at that weight until I can get up somewhere around 10 sets. I’m not going to the next 10lbs until I “master” the one below. That type of progress seems to be working for me.
Pushups are coming along too. Got a little closer to the ground. All good.
On more of an observational level, I am constantly analyzing things and trying to figure things out….it’s part of my DNA. So, tonight, I came up with a theory that has been on my mind for a few weeks. I have to admit a few things first.
1. I grew up with sublings, but they were much older than I was, therefore I did not have to compete for attention during my formative years. Because of this, I got some characteristics of an only child, and some of a child with older siblings. I was the youngest grandchild on one side and second youngest on the other. I was the youngest daughter. When introduced to friends of the family, I would periodically get referred to as “the baby” of the family (still do sometimes and I’m 35). Therefore, I think I got attention just by being me.
2. By the time I was 12, I was tall and, with blond hair, probably got more attention than I noticed or cared about. That likely didn’t change much over the years of 13-20; I was about 5′ 10″ after my scoliosis operation. I even dabbled in modeling for a few years. Therefore, I think I got attention just by being me.
3. I was smart in high school, a quiet, kept-it-to-myself, kind of person. I didn’t act up to get attention, I just made sure that I was doing good work. I excelled at art, math and physics. I stepped up (along with help from my friends and my sister) to make sure we had a yearbook our grad year when the editor got sick. I got a bunch of awards during the graduation ceremony. Therefore, I think I got attention just by being me.
Okay, so the talent I didn’t develop was that of “seeking” public attention.
1. I don’t know how to “put” myself into the middle of a room.
2. I don’t know how to “create” that “squeaky wheel” syndrome.
3. I don’t “expect” people to listen to my stories because they are so “fascinating”.
And, by writing these things down, I’m not sure if I subconsciously or inherently “expect” attention because I have always gotten some form of it, so I am perplexed when I don’t, or, when I see other people get attention, by doing the things listed above, I get confused because I don’t know what secret skill they have.
Ah, something to think about….