A talent I think I need to develop…

Class was good tonight.  Working my way up again for deadlifts – did 3 sets of 5 at 75lbs tonight.  My plan for the next few times is to keep at that weight until I can get up somewhere around 10 sets.  I’m not going to the next 10lbs until I “master” the one below.  That type of progress seems to be working for me.

Pushups are coming along too.  Got a little closer to the ground.  All good.

On more of an observational level, I am constantly analyzing things and trying to figure things out….it’s part of my DNA.  So, tonight, I came up with a theory that has been on my mind for a few weeks.  I have to admit a few things first.

1.  I grew up with sublings, but they were much older than I was, therefore I did not have to compete for attention during my formative years.  Because of this, I got some characteristics of an only child, and some of a child with older siblings.  I was the youngest grandchild on one side and second youngest on the other.  I was the youngest daughter.  When introduced to friends of the family, I would periodically get referred to as “the baby” of the family (still do sometimes and I’m 35).  Therefore, I think I got attention just by being me.

2.  By the time I was 12, I was tall and, with blond hair, probably got more attention than I noticed or cared about.  That likely didn’t change much over the years of 13-20; I was about 5′ 10″ after my scoliosis operation.  I even dabbled in modeling for a few years.  Therefore, I think I got attention just by being me.

3.  I was smart in high school, a quiet, kept-it-to-myself, kind of person.  I didn’t act up to get attention, I just made sure that I was doing good work.  I excelled at art, math and physics.  I stepped up (along with help from my friends and my sister) to make sure we had a yearbook our grad year when the editor got sick.  I got a bunch of awards during the graduation ceremony.  Therefore, I think I got attention just by being me.

Okay, so the talent I didn’t develop was that of “seeking” public attention.

1.  I don’t know how to “put” myself into the middle of a room.

2.  I don’t know how to “create” that “squeaky wheel” syndrome.

3.  I don’t “expect” people to listen to my stories because they are so “fascinating”.

And, by writing these things down, I’m not sure if I subconsciously or inherently “expect” attention because I have always gotten some form of it, so I am perplexed when I don’t, or, when I see other people get attention, by doing the things listed above, I get confused because I don’t know what secret skill they have.

Ah, something to think about….

About mizmulligan

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