Monthly Archives: March 2011


When you have a dozen things clamouring for your attention, which one gets it?  Is it about balance, the bottom line, doing what you love?

I don’t think I could ever be accused of being lazy.  Scattered yes, lazy no.  Is one better than the other?  Are they both necessary?

Over the past few years, I have focused myself to a few things – writing and writing related activities (publishing), and fitness.  I’m slowly beginning to realize that the one thing that pays the bills is preventing me from doing the things I love.  Why else would I stay up until 2am, working out dialogue that two characters are exchanging?  Only a crazy person would do that when they have to work at 9am.  Only a crazy person indeed.  But I have to do it.  Why else would I struggle to lift weights that are way heavier than a cat…(my cat’s pretty big).  I have to do it.

I don’t think I’m alone here, on this island of sacrifice.  I may have mentioned before, I’ve met a few people over the past few weeks who have an employed partner, which allows them to write full-time.  They are lucky and fortunate people.

I too am free to leave my occupation (ever wonder why we call it that?  occupation – meaning “trade” – is from the 1520s), but what I don’t have is someone to buy my food and pay for my cellphone.  So, for the time being, burning the midnight oil (a term from 17th century England), well…’s how all the priorities get attention.  And even then, I haven’t been to the gym in a week.  That’s bad.

I need to remember that a compass only points in one direction at a time, not everywhere at once (unless it’s broken).


Mind Reading…

I have never pretended to be a mind reader, but I do see patterns and things below the surface that other people may miss.  I understand, if you believe astrology at all, that this has something to do with where your moon is placed.  Mine, according to some charts, is in Scorpio.  So…

This would lead me to believe that I can probably see the underneath of things that everyone keeps very well hidden (even from themselves).  Dark, deep secrets.  Or, I could be full of shit.  Take your pick.

Everything is made up, people.  The things we “do” everyday just occupy us until we die.  The things that matter are your connections with people – of any sort – family, friends, enemies, etc.  Make the most of the time and connections you have.  Our world depends on it.

Make art, resolve conflict, dance, do something useful.  You are a blessed person to be standing in the presence of the fiery ball of light we call the sun, breathing oxygenated air through an elaborately controlled system of electric impulses.

There will never be another you.  Why are you wasting time on shit that doesn’t matter?

You say more than you think…

I started reading this book, You Say More Than You Think.  So far, it’s cleverly written and provides some valuable insights into body language and how to study people (mostly to tell if they are lying), and what they are telling you without saying anything at all.

It’s structured in a 7-day exercise format (which I may have to do over an extended period…) and to begin, it asks you to do a short exercise where you look at the 10 largest objects in your bedroom for 30 seconds….then you write down the 10 smallest items.  It’s an exercise on observation of the things in the periphery, the things that you’re not meant to concentrate on.  When you’re looking at the big picture, do you also notice the details….apparently, I do.

Then, it asks you to describe yourself, answer some questions, shoot a short video and describe your parents in three words.  These beginner exercises are meant to get you to think differently about what kind of energy you put into the world on a daily basis and where some of your long held beliefs about people and their expressions stem from.

I asked my good friend Julie to describe my parents in three words – another exercise to see how your view differs from those that are close to you.  It suggests to do it with siblings too, but I haven’t gotten there yet!  We had some of the same words, but she saw and mentioned things that I didn’t.

I will let you know how my experiments go with the exercises and what I learn.  All in all, it will be a good way to develop skills of observation, and it should improve my writing…..

As if I didn’t freak people out enough already…..  🙂

P.S.  Hit another PR tonight at the gym – Dumbell Press for 35lbs, 3 sets of 6.  And, a nice young man named John, who I’ve been chatting with lately, called me “lovely”…

65Kg Sumo PR tonight…and the art of perseverance

So, it appears that a week off was AOK in my books 🙂

I hit a new PR of lifting very heavy weight off the ground (for me) – 65kgs in the Sumo deadlift.  Surprising how quiet your mind has to be before you attempt something new.  Like the fog has to clear and then it just happens.  I did 3 reps at each weight – 20, 30, 40 – and I was going to do 45kgs and I put on 50kgs instead, knowing I could always go back down to 45 if I had to.  I wanted to do 1, just 1, and I did it.

If you’ve followed the progression of my sumo deadlifts, you will know that I was barely lifting 65lbs back in 2010, and it was a struggle at that.  Tonight, I lifted 144lbs.  I can’t even believe it to be honest.

Becoming friends with Isabelle and writing for her blog got me thinking about how much I did not participate in sports when I was a kid.  I wasn’t all that co-ordinated (although I did step-dancing for a number of years too), and I was always slow to pickup on “rules of the game”.  Everything seemed to complicated…Therefore, I was always picked last.  I hated having things come flying at my head too (thank you volleyball).  I was great at Dodgeball (go figure).

Discovering my own rythm, my own sense of timing……like how I struggled for so long with the sumo deadlift at a mere 65lbs.  Week after week, I would go back to that weight.  At one point I was inching up by a pound a week when I was doing the conventional deadlifts.  My trick is to stick with something until I can overcome the obstacles in my way.  Like chipping away at a stone.  I’m beginning to realize, and maybe I knew all along….when it comes to physical activity, I don’t move at the same pace as other people….but damn, I keep trying til I get to where I want to go.  And, when other people have usually moved on, I’m only picking up speed.  I try to spread this over to other areas of my life too.

I really wish I had taken up strength training and weight lifting sooner.  I think it would have been one thing, when I was a kid, that I could have excelled at during gym class.  I’m sure glad I found it when I did.


Sometimes I watch the show on TLC, Hoarders – Buried Alive – and I think how easy it would be to keep everything – every last little bit of your life, all within eyeshot, so one can be the master of their entire domain.  I think someone humans just have a natural affinity for collecting things, lots of things – whether material, animal or financial.  What purpose do these “things” serve?  The answer to that question is likely as varied as the human population itself, although many would think it comes down to some sort of psychological or traumatic event in the person’s past.

I collect things too.  I love paper and I have a habit of keeping little bits of paper as reminders of things I’ve done – tickets to concerts, receipts for things.  All kinds of little pieces of paper.  I’ve done this for nearly 30 years.   From time to time, I go through the papers, carefully sifting through the archeology and strata of my life…and I remove a few.  Receipts I will never need or that hold no “value”.  I keep the treasures….they have a magical hold on me.

I keep the ones that bring back some kind of memory – I remember when I wrote something, who I was with at a movie, or where I was at the time.  It’s like a running paper trail of my life.  I get great satisfaction from going through my “papers” every once in a while, remembering.  I know that is alot of living in the past.

I collect other things too, but my most treasured are my family and friends.  I’ve been reacquainting myself with some family members over the past few months.  That has been great.  I also find myself closing the circle on my number or good friends.  I have lots of acquaintance type people in my life, and a very small group of people I actually consider good friends, and an even smaller group of friends who have been with me since near the beginning.  They are my true treasures.

Honour your treasures….keep the things you love closest to you.

A week off….

…from nearly everything – the gym, writing, being good food -wise, lack of sleep…..

It’s like I’ve been on Spring Break and I never had to go anywhere.  Since last fall, I feel like I’ve been mostly running around and realized a wee bit ago that I needed to slow down but I didn’t see any gap of time in sight.  It’s funny….but my computer disaster actually allowed me the excuse to stop everything for a bit of time.  I’ve been sleeping better, eating like it’s going out of style, and not feeling generally run over.  It’s been a great week….so, for every black cloud there is a silver lining.

I’m back into everything Monday, and it will be good.  Hopefully I will have some news on my poor little computer by then too…..

So, the moral of the story, if you need a break take it, no matter what form it comes in.  It could probably do you some good.