Monthly Archives: June 2012

5 Year Reflection… Fitness and Film

Five years ago today on Canada Day (sometimes the memory isn’t as sharp as it once was), I was eating my last plate of Nachos and drinking my last Guinness, the lasts of which were for a long time. I had signed up for Greco Lean & Fit starting on July 2nd, 2007. I was 220lbs, and with no real end target in sight, I knew that I had health issues and that I had to make a commitment to myself to lose weight and get into shape.

At the time, I really had no idea what I was getting in to. And now, I can’t imagine not having done it. It changed who I was, and it has ultimately led to me being where I am today.

Five years out, I say with some sadness too, that I haven’t really with a full heart been to the gym for a better part of a full year. I left Greco in the Fall of 2010 for the Merivale YMCA and had some other things happen last year that required me to focus my priorities in a slightly different direction. I still watched what I ate and drank, and despite some best efforts, I can probably count on one hand (okay, maybe one hand and a few fingers) how many times I’ve been for a full workout since October 2011.

I don’t feel nearly as physically strong as I did, and now that’s even more painful that the weight gain. I like feeling strong, and more so, I like looking strong. I’m up a little from my target weight too – maybe 7 -10 lbs – mostly because I don’t have the lean muscle to burn the calories anymore… such is life. But, I can feel it. It’s not pleasant. I don’t like it. And my sleeping and eating have been off for so long… I know I can get them back in line, it will just take an even stronger resolve on my part.

I also had a back injury in January. That slowed me somewhat. Things seem to be okay now, but every once in a while, it will tweak.

So, five years out – I need to refocus on myself again. Eating properly, sleeping properly, gyming properly. Less outside distractions. It’s funny, because when I still had my TV I had a routine, which gym was a part of… Distractions and routines are funny things.

Last July I was likely in the best shape of my life, and I’m bound to get back there again with a little hard work… which I have proven to myself I can already do. Shouldn’t be a huge stretch. But, it will take some determination to get back into the swing again. Every year means the metabolism slows a little bit.

On another front, five years out too, I had been dabbling with screenwriting… Now, it’s actually about doing the work, and I’m loving it! Over the past year, I have had the fortunate opportunity to work on a whole slew of cool movie and TV projects, with some background acting in there too, along with Intern and Production Assistant work, screenwriting and Directing!

Projects I’ve worked on this past year:

Mary Mae

Grilled Cheese Trilogy

The Dart League Diaries

Full Stop


The Walking Dead Tales

Micheal: Tuesdays & Thursdays

Penthouse North

Left Behind


She Bleeds On Your Grave

Blood Mist

— and reading and providing comments on all kinds of cool scripts. I’m a very lucky person.

I’d like to say thanks to the film folks for reappearing in my life, or coming in brand new, and making it so great! You know who you are, and honestly, if I started to list everyone, I’d likely forget someone….

Here’s to the next 5 years… and what they might bring.


You are shitting in my mouth and calling it a sundae. — Ronnie Dobbs

This, folks, is perhaps one of the best lines in all television.  🙂  I miss Mr. Show like hell.  Have a watch of Fuzz The Musical.  Fucking gold.

Don’t ask me to believe your bullshit because I never will.  I tend to have enough of my own.  Thanks.  If someone isn’t mature enough to understand how they choose every action they take, they cannot convince me that they’re innocent in all matters.  Please don’t shit in my mouth and call it a sundae.

People will conveniently put themselves in certain situations in order to get what they want.  Or to get something from someone.  Or for whatever reason.  People are simple.  I’m simple.  No one is immune.  I think it might even be called survival.

You can’t bullshit a bullshitter…  and writers, that’s what we tend to do for a living.  We make things up.  We observe people and their idiosyncrasies.  We write what we know, but we also write what we see.  We actually write bullshit for a living, and can usually see it coming before it lands in our mouth.

Big Rig Kitchen Brewery – This is not a food blog… But today it is…

I find myself at Big Rig, a new local brew pub… Mostly because my niece’s husband works here now making beer and LOVES IT… So I thought I would share.

Big Rig is out by the new Ikeaplex in Nepean on Iris. It’s a comfortable atmosphere, with high ceilings, and comfy sitting areas. And, even though its run by an Ottawa Senator, it doesn’t have an “in your face” sports bar feel. A few TVs here and there, and mostly in the bar area. The wait staff is fast. It’s hopping for a mid-day crowd and the music is suitably top 40 appropriate.

My steak was a perfect medium rare with lots of marbled fatty goodness so the flavour was great. The stout was chocolatey, as the menu promised.

A twist on traditional apple pie for dessert and a strong coffee.

I’ll be back.

Acting vs Weightlifting

Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made. — George Burns

Weightlifting humbles me. You can’t fake weightlifting. Either you’re strong enough to lift the weight on the bar or you aren’t. You get honest with yourself in about 4.5 seconds, otherwise you can do real and irreversible damage.

Less than a year ago I was lifting just under 150 lbs in a Sumo deadlift for multiple reps. Not bad for a girl with no spine mobility and metal rods. Last night… I couldn’t even do a proper front squat. Everything was tight. I had to go back to first principles. Listen to your body.

At the end of the night, I did manage a few shaky Power Cleans and Jerks and three atrocious deadlifts at 55 lbs. In the Olympic weightlifting I managed more weight than I had in April and almost as much weight as last year but not as many reps. It was nice to know that I had some sort of technique that would allow me to lift more weight than I thought I could. It kicked me up a bit. Cardio recovery was weak… Longer rest periods. But that’s okay too. Sometimes those are necessary.

Weightlifting keeps me honest about my limitations. Physical and mental… And honestly, it’s all mental. Your brain shuts your body off to perceived pain.

In acting, you have to release the tension in the body to yield the maximum results of your craft.

In weightlifting, the only thing that saves you is tension.

Both give you strength.

Physical honesty and coming to the edges of my mental ego, in my case and opinion, are much more transparent.

I’m reminded…

Of people that have come and gone, of things I’ve experienced.

People will always show you who they are. Usually when you first meet. They may even tell you… but it’s something about their smile, the way they hold your hand… you’re seduced and you’re done for. You forget what they did or what they told you.

But they know that’s a camouflage. They know who they are. They use words that they own. Like bitch and sneaky. They resort to childish ways of getting attention. And, it works if you’re not on the watch.

You’re a moth to a flame.


All the parts of me…

Below is my horoscope for today… but first, a little about someone I was.

When I was 15, I was enamored with rock bands…  the glam, pop, sleazy rock of the late 80s and early 90s, along with the coming of the alternative and industrial scenes that I was introduced to through my good friend, Germain.

In my high school year book, it’s where I saw myself…  handing out flyers for unsigned rock bands in LA…  it’s part of my makeup, part of me.  I’ve always loved music.  My first “tape” was Loverboy, a gift from a sibling.  But, I had been corrupted at an early age with their rock music – KISS (and that cover that gave me nightmares as a kid) and Joan Jett’s – I Love Rock n’ Roll (and indeed I do).

Over the years, my tastes haven’t wandered far…  but they have changed here and there.  I still enjoy everything, except hardcore country…but that’s mostly pop these days anyway.  I’ll listen to Rammstein or Apocalyptica along side Alanis and Feist along side U2 and REM.  It has to have something for me to hold onto, a riff or a lyric.  Something with some meaning, some give, some love or pain (in whatever twisted form that happens to take on).

I’ve seen more live shows this past year than I have in many years.  I recently attended the Ottawa Rock Lottery where Ottawa bands drew names and teamed up with each other in just 24 hours to put together a 30 minute set.  It was pretty awesome.  It’s always amazing how talented people are under pressure.

I like rhythms, the beats behind the song, a secret language of time and pace and tempo.  I took a song writing workshop last year, and my eyes opened up to the pattern.  It’s simple…  You tell the first part of your story, the second part of your story, then how it all went to hell, then how it all works out in the end (but not necessarily for the better).  There is magic, but it’s not what I thought.  It’s what we do everyday.  We tell each other stories.  It’s how much meaning we put behind the stories in songs that make them magical (kinda like making movies, a moving story).

So, music is a part of me.  A part like writing and art that I shelved for lack of time or interest.  I’m glad that it’s a patient with me.  I’m glad that it’s taking me back.

Horoscope for June 7th, 2012:

Whether you choose to acknowledge her or not, there is a child inside of you who needs tending, Jennifer. You are all grown up, and proud of who you have become. And well you should be. But we are all the sum total of who we once were. Today’s planetary positions suggest that you spend some time acknowledging the various parts of your past. That includes the good parts as well as the not-so-good parts. It is only after you have integrated all these different elements of yourself that you can truly be the person you are meant to be.